…understand why a friend named three sons Willie, Mickey, and Duke.
…commiserated when his wife drew the line at “Catfish.”
…believe that a Polish dog with ketchup, mustard, relish, and onions is haute cuisine
…wish that the Secret Sauce found at Miller Park was available in places not named Milwaukee
…can’t tell you exactly where my wallet is right now, but can tell you the date and score of the first baseball game I ever saw live. It was May 26, 1970. San Diego 17, San Francisco 16 in 15 innings. If you want to know the weather that day, where I sat, the promotional giveaway or who made two errors on one play ask in the comment section below.
…remember the first nacho I ever had. It was at Kansas City’s Royals (That’s what it was called then) Stadium in 1979.
…remember that I learned that night a couple of things about nachos. Jalapenos are not “little pickles, so I should pile them on,” and that they aren’t messing around.
…believe that my “Lincecum 55” jersey is haute couture, even if Timmy isn’t what he used to be.
…listen carefully to the National Anthem. Extra points for singing it relatively briskly and enunciating the “D” in star spangleD ba-anner ye-et wa-ve. Two extra points for successfully negotiating the High F note.
…believe the kids should get the foul balls, but like it if the crowd applauds when I catch it.
…know the difference between a slider and a cut fast ball.
…know how to calculate OPS even though it was not a stat when I secretly listened to the transistor radio under the covers.
…know that there are four seasons. Regular season, post-season, off-season, and pitchers and catchers report.
…need to see the real Field of Dreams in Dyerville, Iowa before I’m to old to play catch there.
…believe that a ten-day vacation needs to include at least three major league baseball games, and maybe even a minor league game in a small town that loves their local nine.
…will see Cooperstown or have my ashes scattered there.
…am against the use of steroids to artificially inflate statistics…and people.
…am in favor of the abolition of spit tobacco at the ballpark.
…vote “aye” on the sacrifice bunt and pitchers hitting.
…vote “nay” on the abomination that makes the above not happen.
…am so very happy that I saw a game in Wrigley Field before lights.
…would like to go back to Wrigley and see a night game.
…know that both the 2010 and 2012 World Series’ ended on up and in riding fast balls to power hitters.
…like to think that Babe Ruth called his shot in the 1932 World Series.
…am willing to listen to people who are sure he did not.
…love that my wife, who didn’t know a baseball from a crochet hook when we met, now says, “Come on. Throw him a fast ball above his hands and strike him out.