an embarrassing or tactless act or remark in a social situation. synonyms: mistake, blunder, gaffe, indiscretion, impropriety, solecism, barbarism
My goodness, we all make mistakes. Most of us have the occasional gaffe and, while we don’t talk much about it, an indiscretion has slipped through the cracks. We draw the line, though, at barbarism. Your friends at Gildshire Magazines will go to great lengths to protect you from being labeled barbaric, particularly when traveling on the Continent. Let them call other people Ugly Americans, for you will be the height of class and charm. We have collected a list of faux pas to avoid while traveling in France. You won’t get this kind of information in Paris Match or Marianne. They assume you already know French preferences like you know French pastry.
Wine or Water? Those are the acceptable beverage choices with your meal. A soft drink or fruit juice is perfectly fine as a refreshing beverage but only when consumed by itself. If you don’t care for white wine, yet can’t imagine a hearty red with your breakfast souffle’ consider a glass of champagne. Judgmental types stayed home in Akron.
Check, Please! While on the subject of food and the consumption thereof, here’s another bit of restaurant knowledge. If you wait for the waiter to bring the check prepare to be there until the next French Revolution. When a server drops the lunch tab on the edge of the table, French visitors to the U.S.A are quite taken aback. They consider it a rude attempt to hurry the customer out the door. Remember those outdoor Parisian cafes you’ve read about in every romance novel ever written? Patrons are welcome to sit in one all afternoon with a cup of coffee or glass of wine. They ask for the check when ready to leave.
Bread is to Break: “A jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou beside me.” Omar Khayyam wrote that in his Rubaiyat over 1,000 years ago. Has anyone written anything better since? Indeed, the French revere lovemaking, wine, and bread with almost equal ardor. First, don’t expect butter or any other spread to be provided. They have faith that their famous loaves can stand alone. Second, enjoy the bread by breaking off small pieces, chewing quietly and with subdued pleasure. Don’t assault it with a knife or gnaw on it, looking like an oaf chewing on a big ole’ knob of Alabama sourdough. Make us proud when dining on le pain.
Greet the Shopkeeper: Enough about dining etiquette. Your Mama raised you to come correct at the table. Doubtless, your trip will involve some shopping.
You might need her help wading through the mounds of cheese.
Upon entering a French shop be prepared to greet the shopkeeper. This isn’t 7-11 in Scranton, and the counter guy isn’t shouting a greeting to forestall your theft of a 5 Hour Energy. In France, the shopkeeper is likely the owner of the establishment. He or she expects this transaction to take place in the environment of a dialog. Your greeting acknowledges the service the shopkeeper provided by showing up that day. After all, he could be eating bread at a cafe’. What should you say? A quick “Bonjour, Monsieur,” or “Bonjour, Madame” is fine. Don’t forget to “Merci,” at the end. Every time you open your mouth or fail to do so, you color that person’s opinion of your hometown and the United States in general.
Know How Your Hosts Feel About Certain Flowers: It is lovely to bring some flowers to the hostess when a dinner invitation is proffered. Chocolates are nice but selecting just the right blooms says you took some time with your choice of a hostess gift. Avoid chrysanthemums and carnations in France, however. They are reserved for funerals and considered harbingers of bad luck respectively. Nothing says, “Thanks for the invite” like dropping on the proceedings what your host considers a funeral wreath. Roses are great. Tulips are nice, but their blooming peak is short.
Never Bring Wine to a Party: Never, ever, bring wine to a party in France. In this country, a gift of wine is considered thoughtful and even classy. In France, it tells the folks who invited you into their home that you don’t trust him or her to select the proper wine for the occasion. “Here, let me do that,” it says to your shocked host or hostess. The French consider the wine in their cellar to be a reflection on the home itself. Some folks prefer a light Chardonnay to represent the open airiness of the house design. For others, a bold Bordeaux bespeaks old money and the rich mahogany accents evident throughout the interior. Your wine insertion just blows the image they spent money trying to portray.
Don’t Paw the Produce: You see them every day at the local Kroger. They poke the pears, maul the melon, and fondle the figs. It’s acceptable, barely, here. Such behavior is a grocery faux pas in France. There’s a hands-off policy at a French Marché. Allow the vendor to pick up the produce for you, and just point if you want to select a specific item.
Expect to Shop During Civilized Shopping Hours: Don’t look for a 24-hour deli anywhere in France. No, not even in Paris. The French take the work/life balance thing to which we give lip service very seriously. This is even true for banking institutions. Many stores and shops close between noon and 2 p.m. for no better reason than to give the shopkeeper a break. The month of August finds much of Parisian retailing closed for a month-long holiday. Heck, some businesses begin the August holiday around July 20. If you’re wondering why the airfare you found for your Boston-Bordeaux round trip was $900, you probably booked it for August, when no one is home.
Those are the best tips we found for travel to the beautiful French countryside, so enjoy your vacation secure in the knowledge that you won’t commit too many faux pas. Take pictures, but not of the food at dinner. That’s so here.
Kim is a writer of wide scope. In his submissions he strives to shine a new light, offer a new perspective and make our readers smile. Should he accomplish all of those goals in any one piece, he has succeeded. He is a family man, a dedicated husband, father and grandfather.
