Did you think I was talking about girlfriends? Boyfriends? Used car salespersons? Your landlord? Truth told, pick a couple of the above categories and we could all share stories. But probably not all of them have, as the country song says, “done us wrong.”. I can, however, guarantee we have all been lied to and deceived by…retail advertising.
This is the time of year when the ads can be the most deceptive. It’s now or never for the bottom line! The store management won’t let a target as movable as the truth slow them down.
What lies are we talking about here? Gildshire wants nothing more than to protect you from the bad guys.
“Prepare armor!” “Armor on, sir!”
1. Going Out of Business “Sale”: The store may in fact be going out of business, but that doesn’t necessarily make the prices earth-shattering. Stores contract with closeout wholesalers to make sure there is a floor to the prices they receive for the last of the merchandise. In fact, Consumer Reports discovered Circuit City’s prices were actually 18% higher during their “Going Out of Business” sale. Stay vigilant, even in the face of “Everything Must Go!” Maybe it must. But not to you.
2. Lifetime Warranty: This is a tricky one. “Lifetime” can legally be any number of things. It may mean “As long as the original buyer owns the product.” Woe to you if you didn’t fill out and send in the registration card. Lifetime can mean for the expected life of the product. Expected by whom, you may reasonably ask. Only rarely does “lifetime” mean as long as you are breathing both in and out.
3. Satisfaction Guaranteed: Related to lifetime warranty but even harder to claim. Remember how excited you were when your favorite thing came in the mail? You tore open the plastic, dutifully threw the plastic in the recycling and… just voided your “Satisfaction guarantee.” You see, the item must be returned with all original packing material.
So are we to see ourselves as helpless sheep in a pack of sweaty-toothed retailing hyenas? Not at all. Buy what you need, and buy what you love. Just don’t expect it to be free or with a Utopian Guarantee.
Except for Gidshire. If you didn’t enjoy this article please contact the publisher. Include the time of day you read, and your mood before and after. She will give your 2 minutes,18 seconds back to you…eventually.
Happy shopping, friends!