Hello once again, movie fans. Gildshire Goes to the Movies welcomes you into the cool theater during the hottest days of the year. A quick check of our friends’ news feeds shows the following temperatures. It’s 93 in Tacoma, Washington, 95 in Springhill, Tennessee, 106 in Meridian, Idaho and Satan laughs like a hyena in Phoenix, Arizona. Who wouldn’t want to go to a movie on a day like today? I can almost taste the Milk Duds and my two Coke cups. One to drink a Coke out of and the other to fill with clean ice and pour over my head. Ah, niiiiccceeeeee…..
What do our friends at Rotten Tomatoes have for us? A mixed bag, for sure. The buzz in the movie world is about how the Academy Awards are shortening the show and adding a category just for box office. What do you think? Gildshire Goes to the Movies will tell you what we think at the end.
The Meg; rated PG-13 for action/peril, bloody images, and some language. Not since “You’re gonna’ need a bigger boat” has a sea peril scored heavily with an audience. Oh, they do okay, but they don’t nail people to their seats like “Jaws” was able to do. That isn’t a bar that “Meg” we able to clear either, but for fans of disaster movies and those who want a reason not to go into the water it will play well enough. It stars Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Winston Chou, and Rainn Wilson. Rotten Tomatoes 50, Gildshire, 2.9.
BlackkKlansman; Rated R for language throughout, including racial epithets, and for disturbing/violent material and some sexual references. This is a true story about a black police officer who wanted to make a name for himself. Along the way, he infiltrated the Klan, aka the first genuine hate group in American history. It stars John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier, and Topher Grace, and is the recipient of the Gildshire Movie of the Fortnight Award. Rotten Tomatoes 97, Gildshire 4.7.
Slender Man; Rated PG-13 for disturbing images sequences of terror, thematic elements and language including some crude sexual references. The teen in peril out in the woods is a tried and true slasher formula because it works. The woods are strange and silent. Bad men can hide behind trees in the woods, especially if said bad men are…slender. So, if you are up for being scared, this movie may be for you. If you, instead, want to see a quality movie, pick any other movie on our list. Literally, any movie. Slender Man stars Joey King, Julia Goldani Telles, Jaz Sinclair, and Annalise Basso. Rotten Tomatoes 18, Gildshire 0.2
Dog Days; Rated PG for rude and suggestive content, and for language. Animal movies usually rank somewhere in the 2-3.5 range on Gildshire’s rating board. We don’t dislike them, but neither do they move the needle for us. We know there is a market for them, but that market isn’t us. That said, there is an undeniable charm factor to Dog Days. It’s part animal movie, part rom-com, and part wacky fun-run. We’re going outside our rating norm for this one. It stars Nina Dobrev, Vanessa Hudgens, Adam Pally, and Eva Longoria. Rotten Tomatoes 55, Gildshire 4.0
A Prayer Before Dawn; Rated R for strong violence including a brutal rape sequence, drug use, and language throughout, some sexual content and nudity. In the great tradition of “Midnight Express” comes this latest true tale of a man trapped in a foreign prison, needing to fight his way out. In this case “fight” means actual fighting as the prisoner is a boxer. It looks to be a worthy effort, and the “true story” aspect makes it a compelling view for some folks. It stars Joe Cole, Vithaya Pansringarm, Panya Yimmumphai, and Nicolas Shake. Rotten Tomatoes 93, Gildshire 4.3.
That’s it for this week and we’ll see…Oh, I promised to tell you what we think of the new Academy Award rules. The Academy is introducing a new award category for Outstanding Achievement in Popular Film. It is a nod to popcorn-y summer movies that draw large crowds. We don’t like the change, as box office and the Oscars shouldn’t be tied too closely together. But, that’s just our opinion. What’s yours?
Enjoy the movies and the air conditioning. See you in two weeks!