Nick Robinson, Chloe Grace Moretz at the The 5th Wave Los Angeles Premiere at the Pacific Theatres at The Grove on January 14, 2016 in Los Angeles, CA
Hello again, movie people! In front of the curtain today we present our movie preview for the weekend of Jan. 22-24. But, behind the scenes we are working feverishly, tirelessly, and around the clock. It is all for our special Academy Awards piece which we will present the week before the big night.
So, carefully watch this space. As Oscar night approaches, you will want to keep a Gildshire window open on your computer or smartphone. As the day draws very near you will want to stay home from work or school and have your meals delivered. We wouldn’t want you to miss out.
Rotten Tomatoes rates three opening weekend movies this time around. They say there is one good, one bad, and one meh. But, Gildshire sometimes thinks R/T is a little bit like Grumpy Cat. Let’s see what we think this week.
The Fifth Wave: Stars Chloe Grace Moretz, Maika Monroe, Live Schreiber, and Nick Robinson.
Gildshire knows one thing for sure. We learned it from the movies. When the Apocalypse comes, the fate of the world will rest on the shoulders of an attractive late teen or early-20s girl. Hunger Games? Check. Inception? Check. The Fifth Wave? Check. Men, boys, and unattractive females need not apply. In this iteration on a theme, the end times have been ushered in by aliens who attack our planet because it annoys them in undefined ways.
Hey, Donald Trump annoys me, but I don’t get so cranky about the whole thing I want to destroy stuff.
Our friends at R/T are oh-so-tired of the genre. We’re getting there, as well. Rotten Tomatoes 20, Gildshire 2.6
IP Man 3: Stars Donnie Yen, Jim Zhang, and Mike Tyson (above).
Gildshire admits to not knowing there was an IP Man, or an IP Man 2. Apparently, Mr. IP has been brought out of retirement to save mankind from the fists and facial tattoo of Mike Tyson. Feats of martial art derring-do abound, and more slow motion dust motes fly, slowly, across the screen than in previous IPs. Now there is a marketing hook. “Now, with more dust motes!” Rotten Tomatoes 75. Gildshire 2.2
Synchronicity: Stars A.J. Bowen, Brianne Davis, and Chad McKnight.
Science fiction/noir is a largely untapped genre. In Synchronicity, a method to fold the space time continuum over and on to itself has been discovered. You should be glad we told you that. The trailer only shows a scientist rendered mute by a pretty leg. What happens next is anyone’s guess, but we believe the leg probably shows up again. The open-ended nature of the whole thing is probably what left Rotten Tomatoes at the mid-range of the rating spectrum. We will agree and rate this one at our midpoint. Leg fans may want to add a little. Rotten Tomatoes 50, Gildshire 3.0
That’s it for this week, but don’t fret. We will be back before you know it. Enjoy the leg, err, the movies.
Photos: Helga Esteb, Denis Makarenko / Shutterstock.com