Howzit, movie fans? Gildshire Goes to the Movies is thrilled to be back with you once again, as we generally are every other week. For most of you, this is a standard-brand two-day weekend. Some of you, though, get Monday off to celebrate Columbus Day. Whether Chris C. deserves celebrating is a matter of much debate (if not a settled negative). But, that said, if you have Monday, off using it to your good health is our advice. Take your honey to a movie. It will take your mind off atrocities visited on indigenous people.
Rotten Tomatoes is on board with a four-movie slate today, so let’s get right to it. The Gildshire Movie of the Fortnight Award is at stake! Who will win the coveted prize this week? We can hear your heart pounding from our desk.
Venom, rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for language. Well, tongue you very much, Marvel! Spiderman’s villain has a movie of his own. Why not? After all, Venom was rated the 22nd best villain of all time in a recent comic book survey, and that’s top-form villainy. Unfortunately, it seems that Venom the movie needs a host connection, just like he needs one in the comics. Some movies are good, and some are “much-anticipated.” This one is the latter without the follow-through of the former. It stars Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, and Scott Haze. Rotten Tomatoes 29, Gildshire 2.6
A Star is Born, rated R for language throughout, some sexuality/nudity and substance abuse. A classic never gets old. That’s true for Casablanca, Airplane, On the Waterfront, Citizen Kane, and Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, we have eclectic tastes at Gildshire Goes to the Movies. This movie falls a notch below those, but not by far. The poignant tale has been told in movie form four times, once as a 1954 musical adaptation starring Judy Garland and James Mason, but most famously in 1976, when Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson sizzled. The current version stars Bradley Cooper, Lady Gaga, Sam Elliott, and Andrew Dice Clay. One of the ad blurbs calls it “perfect.” We’re looking forward to it. But without that expectation. Only strawberry shortcake on a hot day is perfect. Rotten Tomatoes 95, Gildshire 4.4
The Hate U Give, rated PG-13 for mature thematic elements, some violent content, drug material, and language. While A Star is Born can accurately be called a timeless tale, this movie is different. It’s about headlines that are breaking as we speak. Racial injustice is the theme, and it comes at you with truth and power. As such, in a close contest, this is the Gildshire Movie of the Fortnight award winner. It stars Amandla Stenberg, Regina Hall, Russell Hornsby, and KJ Apa. Rotten Tomatoes 95, Gildshire 4.6.
Loving Pablo, rated R for strong violent content, some sexuality, language, and drug use. Pablo Escobar was one of the most interesting international characters of the 20th Century. Rebel, leader, patriot, and rogue, Escobar captured headlines and the admiration of his countrymen. This movie, purportedly kinda, sorta based on real-life events attempts to tell Escobar’s story in two hours, five minutes. In rare cases, Gildshire goes against our friends at Rotten Tomatoes. This is one of those times. The movie stars Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Peter Sarsgaard, and Giselle Da Silva. Rotten Tomatoes 26, Gildshire 4.3.
That’s all for this weekend. Enjoy the shows and be sure to join us again in two weeks, as Gildshire Goes to the Movies returns once again. Oh, as far as the whole Christopher Columbus thing is concerned, while you are enjoying your weekend, do something nice for someone you may not have noticed before. Decency as a national norm starts with one person’s kindness. Be that person. If we catch you doing something nice, Gildshire Goes to the Movies will buy your movie popcorn. Ciao for now.