Hello once again fans of stage, screen, and your own child’s rendition of “Fifty, Nifty, United States.” Yessir, it is back to school time for the little lovelies. In other words, Mother’s Day. Gildshire offers the following Public Service Announcement as school begins. Slow down, and drive carefully in school zones! The life you save may be the person who will find a way to get potato chip bags open without half the chips falling on the floor. Anyway, (and it really is pronounced without an “s” on the end) enough back to school talk. We have movies to discuss! There are a full slate of five films with Rotten Tomatoes scores. Let’s see what we like and what we feel fine about skipping this weekend. Our R/T friends aren’t wild about the week. Let’s see if they have a point or are being a little on the negative side of things.
The Nun, Rated R for terror, violence, and disturbing/bloody images. Holy, Lord. There was nothing scarier than “The Conjuring” and this one looks more frightening yet. There’s something about professional Catholics doing bad things to good people that gives Gildshire the willies. It’s why we rarely read newspapers anymore. Anyway, this is one of those movies that is a fright-fest. It stars Taissa Farmiga, Demian Bachir, Bonnie Aarons, and Charlotte Hope. It will appeal to some folks, but those folks don’t have our last name. Rotten Tomatoes 38, Gildshire 1.0
Peppermint, Rated R for strong violence and language throughout. Since the days of Charles Bronson seeking revenge for damage done to his daughter there has been a thirst for revenge movies. There’s something about sitting in a theater with 150 other folks all saying, at least in their minds, “Yeah! Kick___! For the most part, the movie doesn’t have to be especially good, as long as it is a put-upon someone exacting bloody revenge for wrongdoing. Is “Peppermint” a great movie, or a lousy movie with a cute title? More of the latter than the former, but it will draw a crowd. Movies like this just do. It stars Jennifer Garner, Richard Cabral, John Gallagher Jr., and Juan Pablo Raba. Rotten Tomatoes 15, Gildshire 1.8
God Bless the Broken Road, Rated PG for thematic elements and some combat action. After two consecutive high-passion horror/action movies, a film like this deserves our attention as, if nothing else, a palate cleanser. This is a movie about loss, to be sure, but it is also about victory, faith, and overcoming adversity with goodness and heart. It stars Lindsay Pulsipher, Makenzie Moss, Andrew Walker, and Kim Delaney. Rotten Tomatoes 17, Gildshire 2.2
I Am Not a Witch, Not Rated. This is an intriguing first-time effort by Writer/Director Rungano Nyoni. She takes a very real story about gender suppression and superstition, and adds subtle humor and a killer musical score. It stars Maggie Mulubwa, Henry Phiri, Nancy Murilo, and Gloria Huwiler. This is the Gildshire Movie of the Fortnight for its forthright honesty and surprising helping of entertainment while telling a shake your head sad tale. Rotten Tomatoes 100, Gildshire 4.2
Cold Skin, Not Rated. If this has a vague “The Shape of Water” feel to you, know that you are in good company. An isolated man on a bleak island discovers that he is not alone, and the flippered folk are more numerous than he could have imagined. It’s a scary movie, but with a subtext that is appropriate for these times. When you read our thoughts keep in mind that “Share an egg and have sex with the fish” didn’t appeal to us either, so maybe we have a blind spot. It stars Ray Stevenson, David Oakes, and Aura Garrido. Rotten Tomatoes 53, Gildshire 2.9.
That’s it for this time. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks with more movie fun on one, easy-to-read, website. Keep an eye on this space for the very best in movie talk, movie fun, and solid discussion on why Milk Duds are better than Raisinets. (The answer is hidden in the name of the latter candy.)