Hello again, movie fans. Gildshire Magazines Goes to the Movies is back, and we have exactly what you need. Escape with us from the 24-hour news cycle. In a world of mistrust and danger what better way to escape than to go to the movies where there…is…um…mistrust and danger. Hmmm…and popcorn! That’s the ticket! Popcorn!
Our good friends at Rotten Tomatoes have four movies with new release scores this week. They range in scope from light comedy to dystopian tragedy. Kind of like the 24-hour news cycle. What do we like and how much do we like it? What movie will win the coveted Gildshire Magazines Movie of the Fortnight award? As a consolation prize is there anything Oscar might notice? It’s all here right now.
Alien: Covenant: Rated R for sci-fi violence, bloody images, language and some sexuality/nudity. The world of “Alien” came to our attention in 1979. That was when a loathsome creature popped out of Sigourney Weaver’s abdomen, and popcorn spilled out of our bag to the floor in front of us. It slipped. We weren’t scared. Since then there have been three iterations on the same theme. One starred Weaver whose tummy seemed remarkably not worse for wear. In this entry, the colonization efforts on a new planet quickly give way to the usual chest-bursting action that fans of the franchise have grown to expect. Alien: Covenant stars Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, and Demian Bichir. Rotten Tomatoes 77, Gildshire 3.0.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul: Rated PG for some rude humor: The Wimpy Kid franchise began with the well- received Jeff Kinney book series. Unfortunately, none of the movies have lived up to the amiable nature of the books. Oh, the kid is engaging, but the people and plots around him are mean-spirited. In this chapter, Greg, Rowley et. al are going on a road trip, so anyone who has watched the “Vacation” movies knows what is about to happen next. Unfortunately for those who would like to see a good movie this weekend, this only resembles the “Vacation” movies in that there are cars involved. The return to the screen of Alicia Silverstone might interest some. This film stars Silverstone alongside Jason Drucker III, Owen Asztalos, and Tom Everett Scott. Rotten Tomatoes 18, Gildshire 2.9
Wakefield: Rated R for some sexual material and language. This movie asks the question many of us have asked ourselves in this over-connected, social media drenched, and yes we will say it again, 24-hour news cycle world. “What if I just checked out?” Breaking Bad icon Bryan Cranston does just that in this, the winner of the Gildshire Magazines Movie of the Fortnight award winner. Jennifer Garner, Beverly D’Angelo, and Ian Anthony Dale star alongside Cranston. Rotten Tomatoes 85, Gildshire 5.0.
The Survivalist: Not Rated: It is a good thing we are alive in this particular 80-year span of history. Before us, there wasn’t any indoor plumbing. After us, the moviemakers assure us that mankind will devolve into a grunting, sweating pile of inhumanity, fighting for the last kernel of corn. At least, that’s what I get from the Dystopian set. In this movie, Martin McCann plays a man alone with his rifle and his crop of food. Along comes a family offering up their daughter for a bite to eat. A light comedy it is not. A compelling study it is for those who don’t mind being depressed for days after. Alongside McCann, Mia Goth, Olwen Fouere, and Douglas Russell star. Rotten Tomatoes 97, Gildshire 4.2.
That’s all for this week. We will be back the week after Memorial Day with a look at some of the summer’s first blockbusters. Until then, keep your powder dry and your wimpy kids under control. We’ll see you at the movies.