When You Breakup with Your Partner
We are all familiar with the feeling when we lose someone because they decided to leave us and move on with their lives. The feeling of being left often comes with the feeling of not being enough, not being pretty enough, good enough, smart enough or sexy enough. The feeling of being less than can be devastating for anyone. The worst thing you can do in that scenario is begging and pleading your ex to take you back. Calling him, texting him, stalking him on social media and driving next to his apartment is painting a picture of desperation all over the place.
This is not how you are going to get your boyfriend back. What you need is time to heal on your own or with the help of friends or a counselor. You need to find that feeling of being enough for yourself in order to build a new relationship or rebuild the previous one if you are still hopeful.
On the other hand, often we are the one who breaks up and then feels sorry about it. The worst thing you can do is think that your ex is happy to take you back. Although, you have a 50% chance of getting them back, don’t think they are sitting around waiting for you to call. Even if they do, many people will be offended by the fact that you are taking them for granted like a rag doll that you can pick up at any time.
The feeling of being left often comes with the feeling of not being enough, not being pretty enough, good enough, smart enough or sexy enough. The feeling of being less than can be devastating for anyone.
How to Makeup after a Breakup
If you are the one who is left or the one who decided to leave the relationship, give yourself and your partner some time to heal. Sometimes we want things to happen now without any patience, but we need at least four weeks of no contact period to make another move.
In those four weeks, you shouldn’t be crying and thinking about your ex constantly, you should work on building your life where with or without your ex you will find some peace and you will be calmer and your next move will be more natural and relaxed.
Depending on how long your relationship lasted you can have a contact period longer than four weeks. On the other hand, if it was a relationship of only a few months you can have a no-contact period of fewer than four weeks. In this period, focus on yourself, your job, friends or hobbies.
Before you make someone fall in love with you again, you should fall in love with you again. Be enough for yourself! Contacting your ex during this period can only aggravate them.
On the first unofficial date, you should not give any signs that you want them back. Wait for a few more weeks where you would talk about your intentions and how do you feel about him or her.
How to Get Your Ex Back?
You are not over him or her, and you really want them back. The difficult situation is when you are the one who was left and now you have to avoid begging and pleading, you must learn to once again have the best time of your life without your ex. It is not only a matter of looking like you are having the best time, but you should really enjoy your life without your ex as well.
If you are the one who decided to end relationship don’t jump in with: “I am sorry. Let’s go back together.” This will not work in cases where your ex believes they did not do anything wrong for you to leave them.
After four weeks of no contact period, call your ex for a coffee or a casual drink. Do not look or act desperate. This why we have the no contact period where you can pick yourself up and have confidence that you are doing fine without your ex.
On the first unofficial date, you should not give any signs that you want them back. Wait for a few more weeks where you would talk about your intentions and how do you feel about him or her.
Giving creative “I am sorry” gifts might work (if you are the one who did the breakup). Looking desperate will never work for anyone. That look is not attractive to anyone, not to you or to your ex.
Remember that if they say: ”No!” you will have to move on with your life. Start dating and meeting new people as soon as you feel ready for a new relationship.
