Photo Associated Press: Reese Witherspoon, left, and Sofia Vergara arrive at the LA Premiere Of “Hot Pursuit” held at the TCL Chinese Theatre on Thursday, April 30, 2015, in Los Angeles
Happy Mother’s Day Weekend, Moms. I hope those ungrateful wretches you carried inside for nine months and outside for 150 months remember you with the kind of gift you deserve. Flowers (10 dozen roses sounds about right), Candy (Chocolate covered strawberries, at least) and maybe a trip to Cancun.
Probably not? Then how about a movie? Gildshire takes a specific look at this weekend’s openings to see what Mom would like to see. We know she would like to see Wolverine with his shirt off. Alas, not happening in the next couple of days.
1. Hot Pursuit: The movie pairing of Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara has potential. But this cops and robbers chase movie isn’t particularly Mom’s cup of latte. Also, I watched the entire trailer and didn’t laugh once. The trailer is supposed to showcase the best the movie has to offer. The movie would be more accurately titled, “Lukewarm Walkabout.” Rotten Tomatoes 7, Gildation 1.1
2. The D Train: Gildshire believes this particular Jack Black vehicle may be one of his better ones. But will Mom believe the same? Black looks to improve his own class standing by getting the class celeb to come to their high school reunion. It has enough potential, Gildshire is going to up the Rotten Tomatoes ante a bit. Rotten Tomatoes 47, Gildation 3.8
3. Maggie: The movie title pulses with hope this is the movie Mom would want to see on Mother’s Day. “Maggie.” It sounds like something the Bronte sisters or Jane Austen would have written. It’s a zombie movie. Did the moviemakers schedule this weekend without a calendar? It looks fine for the genre…just not for the occasion. Rotten Tomatoes 60, Gildation 1.0
4. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared: Now we’re talking! The old guy sets out on an adventure which turns out to be some good, albeit at times silly, fun. Where else are you going to see someone shoot an elephant in the behind so he doesn’t get squashed by it? Rotten Tomatoes 65, Gildation 4.4
5. Playing it Cool: Chris Evans and the perfectly delightful Michelle Monaghan star in this rom-com about a screenwriter who can’t write love…because he’s never been in love. You can see the end coming a mile away. But Mom will lap this up like milk from a kitten’s bowl. We’re adding Mother’s Day Weekend premium points to a predictable movie. Rotten Tomatoes 30, Gildation 3.8