I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?
Margaret Thatcher: ‘I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.’
Edward Heath (1970’s British Prime Minister): ‘Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement.’
Mark Twain: A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.