What is the Secret of Happy Couples?
Some relationships look promising, but they end when we at least expect it? What is the secret of happy couples that stay together well into old age? Why do those who look like a complete mismatch manage to grow into a strong relationship?
A lot of research has been done on this topic mostly focusing on how couples deal with conflicts and how they communicate? Why? Because all couples argue and here is where a relationship can become weak and end. How couples communicate during a conflict is what makes a relationship last.
The Secret Ingredient
Communication is not the only thing that matters. A new study found one ingredient of each successful relationship that’s often overlooked. This ingredient is important for the recipe of a happy, romantic, and intimate connection between two people.
The ingredient is not what matches two people on a dating site, nor a personality trait, personal history, or other interests that people have in life. All these parts play a role but the study found that they play a much smaller role than what we thought previously.
What is the Secret?
The researchers found that the strongest impact on the happiness of a relationship is the kind of life and relationship that two people create together.
The quality of a relationship overcomes all other personality characteristics and traits that have a smaller impact on a relationship.
“It suggests that the person we choose is not nearly as important as the relationship we build. The dynamic that you build with someone. The shared norms, the in-jokes, the shared experiences is so much more than the separate individuals who make up that relationship.”
The Quality of Life
The researchers also looked into personalities that are assumed to be important for a successful relationship. The partners’ tendencies towards depression and anxieties, and their attachment patterns. It’s undeniable that certain things can have a negative impact on a relationship. But researchers suggest that those traits were less important compared to the quality of life that two people have built over time. The quality of life also reflects how two people feel around each other. How much they enjoy each other’s company.
The quality of life includes a strong commitment to each other, enjoyment of sex life, and a sense that they are happy in a relationship.
How Do You Build Quality Life Together?
How couples build a strong connection, pleasure, and trust. The most important thing for building a strong connection and good quality of life together is openness to reveal your fears, desires, hope, and sense of who you are as a person. Also, creating a good life together takes time.
Happy couples are willing to put their interests aside and know when they should put a partner’s interests ahead of theirs. Letting go of your selfish interest is important for a strong relationship. The quality of life also means that both people feel appreciated by their partner. This is important for a long-term relationship in the long run. If you are giving up you are putting your interests aside and you don’t feel valued, this will lead to a break up sooner rather than later.
It’s also important to remember when we talk about giving up on our interests, we are not talking about giving up on our dreams. Just giving up on small things such as traveling to a destination that you are not particularly interested in but it’s your partner’s dream to go there. Putting your interests aside means recognizing each other’s dreams and putting your interest aside to make each other happy. This is also mutual. it doesn’t come from one side only. Where one person tends to give all the time while another side only receives without giving.
It seems that quality of life incorporates a lot of things. All those small ingredients that are part of the quality of life don’t mean anything on their own. Quality of life is the key to happy relationships.