What Type of Intimacy Do You have in Your Relationship? When we talk about intimacy we often think about sex. For some, the two are considered to be synonymous. Intercourse is as close as we can physically be to another human being. Still, there are many ways to feel intimacy with others. For a long-term commitment, it’s important to have more than chemistry in the bedroom. Without intimacy beside the physical one, a relationship can become very superficial.
Emotional intimacy is the authentic and honest sharing of emotions and thoughts. It includes being able to share your deepest fears, disappointments, dreams, and even the most complicated emotions. When you are emotionally intimate with someone you feel safe to share feelings with another person. You know you won’t be judged for your thoughts and emotions.
This doesn’t mean that you will always share what the other side wants to hear. However, you believe that the other side won’t share your intimate thoughts and feelings with others.
You can develop emotional intimacy with your partner when you engage in deeper and more introspective conversations, sharing emotions, thoughts, and experiences that you wouldn’t share easily with everyone. If you want to develop emotional intimacy, you need to also ask questions and let the other side open up about their feelings. Listen, don’t judge, and try to understand. Be careful not to undermine their feelings and develop relationships of trust and honesty.
Intellectual intimacy is communicating viewpoints and beliefs without any potential conflicts and without worrying that the sharing will lead to a conflict. We all have beliefs and values and some we might don’t want to share. We shouldn’t feel pressure to agree in an intimate relationship. When you don’t feel pressured and judged, you will freely have a stimulating conversation. You will feel closer to the other person when they respect differences in opinions.
Some people are even sapiosexual which means they find intelligence sexually attractive. This might be you? Have a thought-provoking conversation with your significant other where you are going to challenge each other’s ideas. Make a conscious effort to have these conversations without becoming angry and defensive. Disagreement is not a requirement to having a thought-provoking conversation. Discuss abstract ideas and concepts and explore those ideas together.
Shared experiences will intensify a connection between two people. Teamwork and moving towards a common goal while creating experiences and a feeling of closeness will lead to having a better relationship.
Don’t be afraid to embrace new adventures with your partner. Plan activities that you can do together. Of course, each one of you has their own separate lives and support. You don’t have to do everything together but you should have some shared experiences.
When we talk about spiritual intimacy, we are not talking about religious intimacy although that might be the case for many. If you are both religious, praying, and going to Church together can be a great form of spiritual intimacy. However, if you are not religious, something as simple as watching a sunset, holding hands while taking a walk through nature, being quiet while overlooking the wonders of nature such as the Grand Canyon can serve the purpose.
Any conversation related to a sense of purpose and moral ethics can serve the purpose of being close to each other.
Talk about spirituality with your partner so that you can discover experiences that are awe-inspiring moments. Engage in those or similar endeavors.
Many have a fear of intimacy and they are not ready to open up emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually with anyone. If you find the right person you will feel safe sharing yourself. Love and intimacy are more than a physical connection.