We are judgmental as human beings. There is no secret that judgmental behavior is deeply embedded in us as human beings. We don’t judge only others; we are very much prone to judging ourselves. Then, on top of that, we judge ourselves for being judgmental. Why are we judging others without knowing it?
Often we judge the way we dress, what we think and how we feel and if that’s right or wrong. We judge others and their decisions, backgrounds, and experiences. We are constantly analyzing and criticizing every action around us while trying to make a sense of the world we live in. More often we judge others out loud and we judge ourselves when we are all alone. It takes time to be judgmental to yourself in front of others.
According to the author Shaman Durek we link our moral values on judgments of others. He said:
“Judgment makes you blind. You’ll never see me, know me, because all you see is what your brain is telling you to see based on the world.”
Too often people believe what they think is reality. Needless to say, this is far from the truth. However, we are not hopeless in this situation. Sometimes, all we need is more intent and a bit of inner work to free ourselves from this vicious cycle of judgment.
Why are We Judging Others?
Judgment is often a defensive mechanism when we are dealing with the unknown. We are not comfortable when we don’t have enough information about someone. We are fearful of the unknown. Our inner instinct is not to strive to learn more about the unknown but to fear it.
The reason behind it is not that we have ill intentions but we fear that everyone has ill intentions. We lack emotional intelligence because nobody taught us how to deal with these feelings. We don’t engage with things that we are afraid of and we fail to learn from those who we don’t know.
What Can We Do About it?
It takes a lot of consciousness to deal with the deep-rooted judgmental instincts that we have. It’s important for you to educate yourself. What resources are available to you? Ask questions! Don’t be afraid of the unknown and engage yourself in tough conversations.
We need to stop feeling ashamed if we don’t know. Shame should not be related to a learning journey that’s genuine. When we don’t know we shouldn’t pretend that we do.
We should approach the unknown with genuine curiosity, not with fear. We must ask people about their culture when we don’t know, with curiosity to learn and without feeling shame and blame for not knowing.
Why Education Matters?
We pick our judgmental thoughts as we go, from our family members or friends, without analyzing them.
This is where schools should play a significant role. We should not be only focusing on science, math, and sports. The way we think and how we think should be a broader topic studied in schools. Understanding yourself is where everything starts. Understanding yourself is so important that it shouldn’t be thought anywhere or as we go. This is a space for schools to jump in and to be a part of the conversation. Schools could give a more organized approach to understanding how we behave and why, not only in the form of the psychology of our brain but in the form of how to work on ourselves to become better people.