Leo Tolstoy once said all happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. I think we can say the same thing for intimate relationships – all happy relationships are alike, but every unhappy relationship is unique in its own way.
The primary source of unhappy relationships can be infidelity or unhappiness that can cause infidelity.
According to researchers, one-fourth of marriages will experience infidelity at some point, and that’s just those couples who were honest about their relationship. Nevertheless, the divorce rate for the first marriage is 50% in the US. Divorce rates tell us that Disney and fairy tales lie to us with “and they lived happily ever after” phase. It doesn’t mean that everyone cheats, but every relationship has its milestones and problems that come with growth. Some couples grow together, and some go their separate ways.
Why Do People Cheat?
The lack of intimacy is the obvious reason why we tend to cheat in relationships, but there are better and smarter ways to deal with this common issue.
When cheating happens in a relationship, we tend to ask a magical question: “Why? Why did he (or she) do that?” Answers to that question are different, but they all have one common origin.
We all have a need to be loved, and we all have a desire for self-gratification (meaning – we all want good food, great sex, admiration, and good life). When the desire for self-gratification becomes stronger than a desire to be faithful to your partner, we cheat.
For example, you love ice-cream, and you would eat it every day, but it’s not the best long-term solution for your body. Just like ice-cream, cheating is never a good long-term solution for the relationship and overall happiness. As adults, we should have control over our impulses and think long-term, right?
How to Recognize a Cheater?
Communication and having boundaries is important for every relationship. People who can’t monitor their impulses are not only cheaters but they tend to drink too much or develop some addiction – a good example is the power and control addiction. The dominant position in society is the best way to fulfill a desire for self-gratification. If you don’t recognize the need to be admired in your partner on time, you might end up in a relationship where your partner is cheating on you.
How to Prevent Cheating?
Work continuously on building a healthy relationship! Don’t pretend that everything is ok when it’s not.
Consider therapy, here is an article about how free online therapy could save your relationship: https://www.regain.us/advice/therapist/free-online-therapy-could-save-your-relationship/.
Say “No!” and establish healthy boundaries, where a partner knows what acceptable behavior is and what’s not.
Don’t be jealous – jealousy can lead to infidelity.
Talk frequently about your relationship with a partner. Talk about sex, desires, and expectations. Would you tolerate infidelity? How to prevent cheating? Couples should talk about infinitely before it happens if they truly want to maintain a healthy relationship.