You can’t stop thinking about an ex? We all deal with breakups differently. Some dive into the work and some seek support from family members and friends.
If you are someone who can’t shake it off and you think about your ex all the time, you are not the only one. Many people struggle with the aftermath of a breakup, even when a breakup was the right choice and your choice.
Letting go of a relationship is not that easy. It might feel almost impossible to turn off your feelings even when a relationship is over. You might still fantasize about the relationship and your ex. You might think there is a chance to rekindle the relationship.
The first thing you should do is think about all the reasons why you broke up with your ex. That’s often not enough. Even if a relationship was wrong for both parties involved or even toxic, you might still care about your ex and want to start over. You might even feel jealousy if your ex moved on and found someone else.
Having Lingering Feelings for Your Ex is Normal
Also, people often feel guilty, angry or they feel pain and regret. These feelings are especially strong if you never had closure around a relationship that ended. You need to find space to grow and heal before you can move on.
Some might feel this way for years after the relationship ended because of subconscious insecurities or comparisons. The time after a breakup should be used for growing your own self-confidence and finding your goals and moving towards them.
It’s hard to deal with thinking about your ex all the time but it is necessary. On the other side having feelings for your partner can be frustrating but it can also limit your ability to move on and to start a new relationship. When you are dealing with new feelings this could seriously intervene in creating new and healthy attachments. Also comparing your ex with a new love interest can lead to breaking up with someone new when that new person can be a great option for you.
Another common situation is when you are over your ex, but then something happens, and you are caught up in your feelings again. Maybe your ex moves on and finds someone else or you have new contact with your ex which can lead to bringing back all the memories and suddenly you want your ex back.
When you see your ex is starting a new chapter in life on social media or in person, that can bring feelings of anxiety, jealousy, pain, and anger again. Even in situations when you feel like you have moved on. When these feelings are too strong, they can get in the way of you having your own life and enjoying it. Suddenly, it’s hard to focus, you are worried about running int your ex again and their new partner. You can even start making important life decisions based on the breakup.
It’s important to go through the process of hurt and loss no matter how hard you want to move on and forget about your ex. You can’t turn off the feelings that you have about your ex. These moments can serve you towards personal growth and moving forward in your life.
How to Stop Feeling the Way You Feel About Your Ex
Respect the feeling of loss and learn from it. Understand that this will pass too. All you need to do is take care of yourself and your relationships and appreciate the support that you have. Don’t forget about your work and hobbies. You are the number one priority in your life, no one else.