Love is a magical thing and it’s like a box of chocolate, there are many ingredients. We are not telling you anything new when we tell you that there is more to love than physical attraction, good sex and shared passion such as love for the same show as Game of Thrones or Vikings. Then how do we fall in love? According to one psychologist, there are precisely 11 factors of love and what can leave you feeling blown away with butterflies in your stomach and completely in love.
Ayala Malach Pines from the School of Management at Ben Gurion University in Israel and clinical psychologist who studied couples wrote approximately 60 research papers and wrote quite a few books about relationships. In his most famous book, “Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose,” Pines talks about 11 factors that play a great role in love and relationships. Maybe you are asking yourself why are you gravitating towards those bad guys or those charming weirdos? Here are the main 11 factors who play a major role in falling in love:
1. Do opposites attract?
Not really! Sorry, Paula Abdul but according to science, similarities in background, personality and attitudes is something that it’s more likely to bring two people together.
Near and dear to my heart! That one is correct, especially emphasis on that “near” part. Geographic proximity is the most important part when it comes to love.
3. Desirable appearance and personality.
What we prefer in looks and personality matters. We might end up with someone who is not all that we imagined them being, but the main important characteristics will be there.
4. Reciprocal affection.
This one is obvious but it’s not always there, unfortunately. If your crush doesn’t like you back, then save yourself some time and just forget about it
5. I can’t get no satisfaction!
Well, you better get some satisfaction for a long and loving relationship. Sex is not as equally important to everyone but to some degree, it’s important to each one of us and those needs (whatever they might be) should be satisfied.
6. Physical and emotional attraction and arousal.
Without these two factors, we are talking about friendship not romantic love.
7. Social norms.
Here is another pop love song: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Not everyone of your family members and friends should approve, but if all of them or most of them don’t approve, there is something wrong in that relationship.
Are you ready for a relationship or you are more interested in a one-night stand and enjoying your life?
9. Opportunities to be alone (for obvious reasons) and to get to know each other better.
10. Enigma and mystery is something that can and will make things more interesting for everyone involved.
11. Specific cues that we love about the other person.
Maybe it’s voice or posture, or eyes, the way they walk or the weird way they dance. There is something that you love about your partner and you can’t resist.
You can use the points mentioned above to track down the perfect one. Obviously, geographic approximately is the huge factor and if you want to find someone, here is the most important thing: Go out there! Exposure increases the likelihood of everything especially finding someone you love.
If you are not sure that each point refers to you, that’s perfectly fine, these are just some pointers on how we fall in love.