Do you have imposter syndrome? We might not be willing to always acknowledge it, but everyone had a feeling of not being good enough at some point.
The feeling of doubt can seriously mess up our confidence, and have a great impact on our overall mental health. Jessamy Hibberd elaborates on imposter syndrome in her book The Imposter Cure.
According to Jessamy Hibberd, at the core of imposter syndrome is a feeling of not being good enough. When we doubt ourselves, we feel like everyone else is feeling super confident and capable, but that’s not true. Self-doubt affects everyone! It is hard-wired into us on an evolutionary level. You don’t want to be confident all the time.
What are the Origins of Insecurity?
Insecurities and self-doubt have evolutionary origins. “Better safe than sorry,” was important for our ancestors in order to survive. From an evolutionary perspective, self-doubt has many advantages compared to its disadvantages. With self-doubt, we are more likely to overcome potential issues and get better relationships compared to when we believe we are doing everything right. If humans were completely fearless, we wouldn’t be the dominant species we are today.
No one Feels Good All the Time
The level of self-doubt highly depends on our environment, situations, and moods. When you feel unsure about something, self-doubt creeps in.
The imposter believes that they should feel at their best all the time, working hard and performing successfully in all areas. It’s important to remember that no one feels this way all time. It would be strange if someone would be permanently confident and happy.
Although we want to feel good all the time, life is not that simple or straightforward. Our mood naturally fluctuates and all emotions are normal and necessary.
Negative emotions are crucial as much as positive ones and no one is capable of going through life without feeling all emotions. It’s also important to know that although some people walk through life smiling and giving the impression that they are confident all the time but that doesn’t mean it’s true.
How to Find Balance?
Now, when we understand that there is no perfection, we can talk more about how to stay on the positive side. If we are spending too much time on the self-doubt side, we could stop our natural growth in life and even develop mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. Don’t forget that you have so many roles to fulfill. You are a parent, friend, child, worker, sibling, and it can be demanding to play all the roles right.
Self-awareness is the key to finding a balance between healthy and unhealthy insecurities. Yes, there is a fine balance between healthy insecurity and insecurity. You need to become self-aware to avoid the unhealthy one. What does being self-aware mean? You need to know yourself, your strengths, and limits to feel confident about who you can be and who you can’t be. Identify your strengths and don’t be afraid of your limits. Practice daily and make notes of new things you found about yourself.
The second important part is the reflection. To improve your mood, encourage personal growth, and to learn from your experience, you need to recognize patterns in your behavior. It’s good to understand where you are, where you want to be and where are you heading with your actions. This will allow you to tackle difficulties and to make changes you need to make to be where you want to be.
We might prefer to get away from negative emotions, but don’t be afraid of them. If you ignore anxieties, fears, and insecurities, that doesn’t mean they will go away. Although it might sound counterintuitive but looking at difficult emotions is the best way to deal with them and to allow them to pass.
Also, ensure you reflect on the good stuff too rather than focusing only on negative things in your life. That will help you feel more confident and secure.
It’s important to remember that if you don’t feel confident 100% of the time that doesn’t make you an imposter. Embrace your self-doubt and try to understand it better.