The Life of a Perfectionist
Are you picky in relationships or life in general? If yes, you probably know that your days can be filled with frustrations and disappointments. Everything should be perfect and if it’s not perfect then it’s not good enough or good at all.
How to Know if You are a Picky Perfectionist?
Do you wake up with the hope that the day ahead of you will be perfect? Do you start your day believing that you will complete each task thoroughly and successfully or in other words perfectly? Suddenly, something is not right, things are not perfect, and you feel frustrated. What should you do know? How to start all over with the perfect ending?
Maybe You Know Someone Picky
You might know someone who is looking at you with a judgmental look, seeing flaws in your behavior. Having a perfectionist in the family can lead to endless criticism on what are you doing wrong and how to make it right. It can be frustrating if it’s a close family member.
If you are working with a perfectionist, working life can become confusing or even frustrating. You simply don’t understand what is the issue or you are completely frustrated because they are delaying work that needs to be done. If your boss is a perfectionist, then your life can become a living hell when your boss starts emailing you to fix the problem until the solution is perfect per their standards.
Picky people accept nothing but perfection from themselves and others. If you are working with a perfectionist, and it’s difficult to work with them just imagine how difficult it must be for them. Perfectionists expect their ideal scenarios to become reality. Nothing but that ideal picture would make them happy.
What are the Consequences of Perfectionism?
The main consequence of perfectionism is keeping people away from living the perfect life. That is ironic but if you are a perfectionist your picture-perfect life will never become a reality.
Additionally, researchers believe that perfectionists lack cognitive flexibility which is not a surprise. Perfectionists fail to see other options. They have an ideal path in front of them and there are no other options. They can only succeed or fail in reaching that ideal goal or ideal day.
The consequences of perfectionism can also be difficult relationships. People around them might avoid their company since perfectionists are prone to criticizing and looking for flaws. They have high standards for themselves and for others. People around them are not going to meet those standards and those people might leave when they feel constantly judged.
Why does Perfectionism Happen?
People who are perfectionists often feel like they are losing control and the only way to keep control is to grasp it at any cost and demand perfectionism from yourself. If you deliver the perfect results from the moment you wake up to the moment you close your eyes, that means that you have full control of your actions, thoughts, and emotions.
Perfectionism and a sense of control are closely related. It can also be our way of dealing with stressful and anxious situations in which we are losing control. If we have the control that means that we will get the result that we expect to have. In stressful situations, we feel that those results must be perfect so we can alleviate stress.
The Perfectionist in Romantic Relationship
Often perfectionists in a romantic relationship will be picky. They have a picture of a perfect partner and they will not settle for less. This can easily lead a perfectionist to be single for an extended period since no one is meeting their demands.
How to Help a Perfectionist?
The perfectionist needs to see and find alternative approaches. There is not only one way and the only way to have a successful day or to have a successful life.
Seeking perfection is not the same thing as seeking fulfillment. A perfectionist often talks about discipline and fulfillment. They believe there is no alternative way of being successful but being successful as they planned out. Looking for perfection can have the opposite effect from fulfillment. It’s almost certain that perfectionists will not reach fulfillment and perfect life.